Friday, July 2, 2010

1,051,200 Minutes

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." - William Wallace

There are only 1,051,200 minutes in two years.

One million, fifty one thousand and two hundred minutes

It feels like it's been decades since my Grandmother passed away.

At 5:30 AM, for whatever reason, my brother, mother, and I all woke up that muggy July 2nd morning in 2008. All on different floors of the house. All having gone to sleep at different times the night before. We all woke up at 5:30. And within seconds my mother received a phone call saying that her mother, Frances Ann Pugliese had passed away that morning.

Nothing had ever been so surreal.
She was not the first person I knew to die, nor the first person in my immediate family to do so.
But she was the first person I knew well in my immediate family to die.

I can't even tell you how many things I wished I did with her.
I called her every couple of weeks to see how she was doing.
I flew back east every chance I could to see her.
I sent her cards and flowers on any and every occasion.
And I still wish it was more.

We were never particularly close, but we did have a healthy relationship and I did really love her. She was a peculiar creature with a lot of habits both good and bad. But at 78, she had lived a life that was full and rich with two daughters, a husband, a talent for art and cooking, and many many more things.

But she had so much more to live for.
And in all honesty, she could have lived much longer than she did.

Despite having so many things, she was very lonely.
She was warm and giving, but she was also selfish and every other word out of her mouth was a complaint. Every word that was not a complaint was an order.

She, unfortunately, fell into the category that I'm sure some of you readers know all too well. People who don't understand how to love and love correctly. In a way that is positive and clean as opposed to one that is dirty and self oriented. She was one of those people that believed any attention was good attention, and if you know someone well enough, it is easy to make them upset. People wouldn't get so upset if they didn't care for you right? And it's easier to see you're loved that way than actually going out and doing a nice deed for that person, right?


There's more to it than that, Mom Mom.

But that's another story for another time. And actually something that can't be told in words, but in lessons. In hearts. In ways that you need to see for yourself how you're loved and how you loved.

You'll know if you were right in the end when people are by your side or not.

I want everyone out there to take the time to love today. Anyone. Someone you haven't loved on in a while. It will make a world of difference. An absolute world.

If what you give is what you get, start giving y'all! Don't let anymore minutes go by. 525,600... 1,051,200... 1, 2, 3. GO!

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